This weekend I took a trip to Devon (the county in the South West that isn't currently underwater) for a friend's wedding. Not fancying rush hour Friday traffic, I took the train down on Friday evening, and, as it was only £5 extra, treated myself to a first class ticket. This apparently gave me a wider seat, a selection of newspapers, snacks and complimentary hot and cold beverages.
However, when I got to the buffet bar, I was told, "We've only got tea and coffee."
"Do you have any snacks?" I enquired.
"Biscuits," the fine First Great Western employee retorted, slapping down a packet of Walker's shortbread.
I took my cup of tea and retired to my wider seat. Opposite me, an ugly man sniffed and chomped his way through an M&S savoury wrap, whilst slowly encroaching on my table space. The journey dragged.
The wedding was lovely, and it was much fun to see old schoolfriends again. There was much naughtiness and misbehaving.
I took a train back to London this morning at the frighteningly early time of 9.07 - this time I was in standard class. This was a wise financial decision. A voice came over the tannoy:
"Ladies and gentlemen, our hot drinks boiler has broken down, so we only have black Americano available. First class customers will not be able to have complimentary drinks, but you can buy a black coffee for £1.85."
This seemed a) weird and b) a bit unfair to First Class customers - the very least they could do was to give them their Americano for free. But this wasn't my battle. So I just sat back.
The voice came over the tannoy again, "As before, ladies and gentlemen, we only have black coffee available. But we do have milk if you would like milk with your coffee."
Brilliant. Only black coffee available. Unless you prefer it white. First Great Western - rubbish. And a bit weird.
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