Mummy: Here you go, sweetie. Yummy tomato soup.
Mummy: Try a spoonful please.
Toddler: *Takes a spoonful. Spits it directly - literally - all over Mummy's face*
Mummy: *Wiping approximately £0.53 of organic ingredients from her face*
Toddler: *Spits in Mummy's face again*
Mummy: If you do that again, you will have to go on the Naughty Step.
I decide I have to follow through. I wipe her mouth and take her to the Naughty Step for the required minute and a half.
She sits on the step, merrily swinging her legs. I go to the living room, where I can still see her, but deliberately don't make eye contact.
I sneak a peak. She is winningly smiling at me. I show her that I am not paying her any attention, by facing the other way and whistling in a nonchalant fashion.
The toddler starts whistling too. I think this is odd behaviour for a toddler. She can whistle. Is that normal? I try not to smile, and keep looking the other way. The toddler decides what I really want her to do is to sneak up on me whilst I'm "not looking". I whip my head round and catch her in the act. She thinks this is hilarious, and runs away, giggling, and sits back down on the Naughty Step.
It is actually quite funny. She starts whistling again and indicates I should look in the other direction. I do, and she sneaks up on me again. I can't help laughing. We're now playing a really fun game.
She ate Mummy's expensive Spanish tapas with manchego cheese for lunch. The organic soup will be used in one of our dinners this week.
The toddler is totally beating me at this parenting thing.