Pet-ty

Some people believe their cats are psychic.  For example, if their cat gets shut in a shed, they believe that the cat projects mental images, telling their owners where they are.

I am not sure about this.  As an atheist / general sceptic about anything that science can't prove, I'm generally unwilling to abandon my logical decision-making process for the sake of telepathic felines.

However.  And I resent this "however".  Monty Cat knows something.  I'm not sure how, but he knows.

I am currently trying to clear out the wardrobe in our guest bedroom.  This is for several reasons:

• Ostensibly I want a digital piano.  The piano needs to go where the wardrobe currently is
• The wardrobe is hideous.  Hideous, hideous, hideous.  TheBloke (TM) bought it when he first moved into my flat in Bethnal Green, and it was too early in our relationship for me to say, "Yeah, that thing you just had delivered... from Argos?  Get rid of it."  Four years down the line, I think it's time to own up.  I hate it and it doesn't even shut properly.  Hate hate hate.

So, in order to get rid of the wardrobe, we have to get rid of all the crap in it.  I say "we", but if I'm honest, 89.6% of said crap is all mine.

This includes:

• Unwanted Christmas presents
• Pretty shoes that hurt my feet and so are never worn
• Cosmetics I either bought on sale or never used, or unwanted Christmas presents (see point 1)
• Ball dresses - I cannot remember the last time I went to a ball - or when I'm likely to go to a ball in the future
• Size 6 clothes that haven't fitted me for a very long while, and never, ever will again.  This is OK (the size thing), but the clothes are still pretty.

So it's up to me to declutter.  And much of it is saleable, so I decided to eBay it.  I carefully laid out all of my items, which are obviously advertised as from a smoke-free, pet-free home.  I figure 50% correct is fine, and it's not as if Monty Cat pisses all over my clothes.  Well, not every day.

As I went up to our guest room to get the next item for its photo shoot, I noticed a big, fat, ginger Monty Cat carefully stretched out along the full length of my Calvin Klein suit.  I swear he did a wiggly roll as I tried to scoop him out of the way.  HE KNEW.  He KNEW that was the next item I was photographing.  Until I got the camera out, he was peacefully curled up, fast asleep underneath the dressing table, out of harm's way.

I'm not sure I can advertise these as pet free.  Perhaps, "entirely made from natural (cat-based) fibres" would be more accurate.