Wired

"A couple of days of annual leave, sandwiching the weekend will be just the very thing," I thought.  "It will be splendid.  I shall have lie-ins a-plenty, I shall finally crack on with all that admin I've been ignoring, and I might even manage to pay a visit to Mr and Mrs Nunn."

And lo, it was so.  Up the M1 I toddled (to be fair, I'm not sure "toddled" is the right verb, but Mrs Nunn might be reading, so let's pretend I was driving at 64 mph all the way up the motorway).

And of course, Plogs pretty much wrote themselves whilst I was there.

"I was right," proclaimed Mrs Nunn.

"Sorry?"

"I was right," she asserted.  "Wi-fi does cure blindness."

This threw me.  I had been unaware that she was either a) an eye-surgeon or b) blind, let alone the more baffling questions of... actually I can barely articulate the tens of different questions that were buzzing round my head.

I thought I'd start with the obvious.  "How does wi-fi cure blindness?" I asked.

"I don't know, I'm not a doctor!" she replied, thus answering my point a) above.  But she continued, "The important thing is that scientists agree with me and wi-fi has been proven to improve people with eye conditions.  Do you remember at Christmas.."

She then launched into an anecdote about how my 88 year-old grandma beat us all at table tennis on the XBox Kinect several times over, despite having eye problems.  I was still unsure of the connection - unless doctors were now claiming that the very fact she'd visited my parents' house, with its fancy wi-fi had produced some miracle cure.

"She was saying her vision was better when she got home.  I knew it was the wi-fi."

Interesting.  I had to do some Sherlocking here.

"Mum," I asked, "do you definitely mean wi-fi?"

"Yes," she said.  "That table tennis game."

"You don't mean that Nintendo Wii has been proved to help hand-eye co-ordination, do you?"

"Yes!"

"OK.  We brought up an X-Box, not a Wii, but both of those things are different to wi-fi."

"Wii, wi-fi... what's the difference?"

I then teased her for a good five minutes, imagining all the wi-fi internets jumping into my eyes to cure them.

I'm not welcome back just yet.