There are moments as a parent that you find yourself saying horrific things, completely by accident.
Case in point: the toddler generally has to be bribed to do anything she doesn't want to do. Anything she doesn't want to do can usually be put in the category of "anything you do want her to do". These bribes can range from food (biscuits) to playing whatever game she's into at the moment.
At the moment she likes to pretend to be a dog. This involves saying, "I'm a dog, Mummy," and then panting and licking my face. Every so often she likes to mix things up by having me pretend that I am the dog.
The toddler needed a wee. But the toddler did not want to go for a wee. "Be a dog, Mummy!" insisted the toddler. "Lick me!"
I decided to employ my bribe strategy to get her to go to the toilet.
And this, readers, is how I ended up saying this evening, "Do a wee-wee, then I'll lick you."
I am a terrible parent.
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