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Thursday, June 02, 2016

To sleep, perchance to dream

It has been so long since I've Plogged, that I can barely remember how to do it. My "writing" these recent days is limited to (I flatter myself) pithy 140 character Twitter observations, or amusing captions for baby photos on Facebook. Just typing this short paragraph has exhausted me to the point of potential swooning.

I have lots of excuses for not writing, but my main one is I NEVER SLEEP NEVER. I NEVER NEVER SLEEP. It has got to the stage where I am no longer absolutely sure whether conversations I have are dreamed or real. I have incredibly boring dreams about turning on the baby's mobile, or buying plants at Homebase... and the next day am totally unsure about whether or not it actually happened.

For all I know, I'm not actually writing this right now. It could be just a dream. It is a very disconcerting way to live your life. For example - flying. In dreams, you can fly. Wheee. Try that when you're not actually asleep and it ends up a sticky mess on the pavement.

Same goes for trying to have sex with Benedict Cumberbatch. Dream world: fine. Real world: restraining order, and awkward conversation with my husband.

Of course, the eagle-eyed of you will have spotted a dichotomy here. If I never sleep, how can I dream? Good point. I don't. I think this is why dreams are so vivid/dull - I am basically hallucinating.

Does this sound fun, people? In other news, have you considered contraception?

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