Got, got, need, swap

As many of you know, I work in finance. I have no desire to be more specific than that, other than to say that - despite almost ten years in the industry - I would be hard pushed to describe a single technical aspect of banking. I seem to have forged a career that nicely avoids all the mathsy stuff. Which, as my high school maths teacher, Mr Mercer, will attest, can only be a good thing.

Anyway, a lot of people at the place I work are fairly well compensated for the crazy hours and stressful lives they lead. And we have on our firm's intranet a site where people can post classified ads. Let's call it, for the sake of argument, Sell Stuff, Buy Stuff.

This site is hilarious. The most common postings are:

1. Nanny required in Canary Wharf. Ability to teach Cantonese as a fourth language to tri-lingual children an advantage
2. Porsche 911 for sale. Hardly used as wife's runaround.
3. iPad for sale. Bought last week and want upgrade.
4. Flatmate wanted for spacious loft conversion in SW1. Rent £3000 per week excluding bills.
5. 2 x Ascot Enclosure tickets for sale. £400 each ono.

Hilarious. I have yet to Sell Stuff or Buy Stuff, but should I ever want shot of Monty Cat or TheBloke (TM), I know where to start.

However, last week I saw my favourite ever advert. Nestling amongst Nespresso machines and mingling with Mazdas, was the following advert:

"Pannini stickers swaps wanted. Have double Drogba, will swapsie for Kaka. Contact Pravi Patel."

Brilliant.