Number 2: The dress
As mentioned in the previous post, I'm not a girly girl. But if you're having a wedding, you're apparently supposed to have a wedding dress. People take photos and everything. Mrs Nunn did not adhere to this, and went out and bought a nightie and got married in that. However, she also wore hot pants to her graduation ceremony on a dare, so I'm not entirely sure I should emulate her fashion sense. Also, Mr Nunn wore brown velvet flares whilst saying "I do", so the fashion bar wasn't set all that high.
So on Saturday I had a wander to a "wedding dress sale" - presumably a place that a) sells wedding dresses and b) sells them more cheaply than when they're not on sale.
Into the sale I went. I was greeted and told a wedding dress consultant would spend an hour with me. I asked why. I got a look. I was asked when the wedding was. I told her that it was going to be in March. She looked shocked. "This March?"
"Yes, March 2011," I said.
"Well, that's going to limit you," she said, glancing down at my stomach, presumably to try and ascertain if I was up the duff.
"Well, of course it takes eight months to make most of these wedding dresses."
"It takes eight months."
"Are you joking? I could build a house in less time. I could make an entire human being pretty much in eight months."
"Oh, well, you can pay extra for a rush order," she said.
"Well there's a surprise."
"They have to sew all the beading on by hand and stuff."
"Mmmhmm," I said and went for a wander round. For about two seconds. Most dresses were over £1000. I'll say that again. Most dresses were over £1000. For Americans, that's $1600. In rand, that's R11,000. In Euros, that's... damn it, there's no Euro sign on my laptop. Any
way, you get the picture. It's pricey. Especially considering you're only going to wear it once. Well, maybe twice, but some second husbands are funny about you wearing the dress you wore to your first wedding.
Oh, and that wasn't all... you can't just order a size 8 and be done with it... you order the dress in approximately the right size, and then they fit it for you. Fair enough... except they charge an extra £200 for this privilege.
And with that thought, they can fuck right off. I'm off to get some hotpants and a pyjama top.