You're booked

OK, I'm taking a break from moaning about wedding planning to moan about something else instead. Facebook. Yet again, Facebook. Not the tool itself - as much as anyone else, I'm guilty of updating my status, stalking old friends (and enemies) and pointlessly clicking my life away.

My criticism today rests firmly on the "favourite books" section. You may think this is odd. You know I love reading. I get through approximately two paperbacks a week, thanks to a daily two-hour commute and a library near where I work. Why on earth should I censure Facebook's efforts to allow people to share their favourite reads?

I don't. My issue is with the stupid people. Here are some genuine(ish) favourite books lists of friends.

1. Jackie Collins, Marian Keyes, Harry Potter, To Kill a A Mockingbird
2. Ian Rankin, Dean Koontz, Voltaire - Candide
3. His Dark Materials, Lord of the Rings, Of Mice and Men

Basically, people read shit books. Because they are thick. And then they add one "good" book at the end. Let me define good in this context - a book which is deemed to be literary. Literary in so much as it might be (for example) included on an A-level or GCSE syllabus. And - what a coincidence - these were all books that we studied at my school, depending which class you were in. (In case of doubt, I am not classing anything Tolkein wrote as "good". Deal with it.)

So one of two things is happening here:

1. People read shit books. They know they read shit books, but are embarrassed by this and so put the one "good" book they've ever read on the end of their list. Stupid, stupid people.

Or

2. Perhaps they read "good" books all the time, but without a teacher to draw out the subtleties and take that understanding to a new level, they make little or no impression on them. Stupid, stupid people.

Or maybe they just don't read at all. Perhaps I only read so much because I spend so much time on public transport... but still, a good book is like a box of chocolates that doesn't make you fat.

Don't get me wrong, I like a bit of shit-lit as much as the next person. But with the emphasis on "a bit". Reading a Dan Brown novel is a bit like having a McDonalds. At the time you really enjoy it, but a few minutes later you feel guilty and a bit sick, and like you need something more healthy - perhaps a nice Ian McEwan (surely the literary equivalent of one of your five a day) or even a starchy Jane Austen or a fibre-filled Dickens.

So, Stupids. If you recognise yourself in the above, I recommend the following top picks. They're all pretty accessible, and there's loads of info on the internet about them if you need to know more:

1. Rebecca - Daphne du Maurier

2. Saturday - Ian McEwan

3. Atonement - Ian McEwan (watching the film doesn't count, stupids)

4. Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro

5. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

Also, Cloud Atlas (David Mitchell, but not that David Mitchell, Stupids) is brilliant and clever, but not suitable for Stupids. Sorry.