Baby steps

So it's been forever since I've Plogged.  I have been racking my brains for a suitable subject, but the sad truth is that once you have a baby, there is nothing else to talk about.  This is because every waking moment and quite a lot of the sleeping ones are spent looking after a baby.  It doesn't leave much time for experiencing non-baby things.  So whilst I could Plog loquaciously about breastfeeding cafes, nursery rhymes, various nappy brands (and nappy contents), I do try to remember that my core readership probably doesn't give a stuff about any of that.  So I should try and find a separate topic.  Something not related to babies.  And hence lies the problem.  Because, as referenced previously, there is currently very little in my life which isn't related to the baby.

So forgive me, if you will, for sharing this slightly baby-related Plog.  Our baby does not like to sit down.  She likes to be on the move.  This would be great if she was actually able to do any of this stuff for herself.  Sadly, we, her willing servants seem to need to step in.  Her favourite way of being ported around the house is with this baby carrier.

Now, whilst I look relatively confident here, what with the baby, the carrier and all, those of you who know me well or have followed the Plog for a while, will know my total inability to follow any kind of three-dimensional instruction or drawing.  So whilst TheBloke (TM), can heft this thing onto his shoulders and plug the baby in in about three seconds, it takes me about half an hour to work out how to put it on, and another fifteen minutes to be sure the baby isn't in upside down.

So I spend a lot of time referring to the instructions.  And often, as I'm holding the item upside down, the instruction label is also upside down.

And this - dear Ploggers - is when I realised that the baby carrier instructions are essentially pornographic.

They appear to be instructions for putting a condom on.  Too little, too late.