Analy-tickle

I think it's time to visit our latest Google Analytics, don't you? For newcomers to the Plog, I've got a Google tracker set up so I can see which keywords people use to arrive at the site. I review this every few months or so and it almost always makes me giggle. So, here we go.

I'll omit the boring ones - people who searched on "Laura Nunn" or "Laura's Plog" and so on... and give you the top ten of my favourites:

1. "Henry Giffin" "inside your phone" - someone who clearly had the same Edinburgh Festival experience as Nice Kate and I did.
2. Erica's Wanking Club - a firm favourite. Well done, Erica! Keep up the wanking!
3. Vibrate my hamster
4. Cockatiel behaviour. Well, I am an expert.
5. "Laura Nunn" breasts. I wish my brother would stop Googling me.
6. "Sparkler up her". The mind boggles as to a) why Google would think my site is the best place to come for that information or b) why you would want to try that.
7. Gypsy news in Coalville. Erica may be able to provide this update. Watch this space.
8. How to make a hobby horse. Don't bother. You can buy them from toy shops. It's quicker. And will probably look less shit.
9. Anyone spotted Tamsin Greig
10. Stalking Tamsin Greig

These last two together, several results apart, really make me chuckle. And no. I have neither spotted nor stalked Tamsin Greig. Yet. Also, honourable mentions to "professional women ticklish feet", "BT lying bastards", "how to make a hobby horse from cardboard" - clearly the budget version of the above search, and "turn your boyfriend into a horse".

If anyone knows how to do the last one, I've always quite fancied a pony.