Industry idiots

OK, so last week I covered, Wankers I have Worked With. Nice Kate reminded me there were some that I'd missed. So the following list isn't so much wankers as tosspots. The irritating, rather than the evil.

Needy Nora - needed reassurance on everything. Despite being a grade higher than me. "Och, Laura, I'm sorry for texting you so late last night on your personal number. I'm so, so, so sorry. I'd had a bit to drink and I just didn't realise. I really hope you can forgive me." It had been about 10.30 p.m., and I'd replied straight away at the time. "That's fine," I would say. "It was nice to hear from you." "Och," she would say, because she was Scottish, "I'm really, really sorry... it's just..." this would go on for literally ten minutes. She is the only person I've ever been in a meeting with where I've thought to myself calmly and rationally, "I am going to have to throw my shoe at her. I cannot think of another way to stop her talking. I am actually going to have to throw my shoe."

Poverty Line Pauline - would spend half an hour every day telling me how poor she was, how hard it was juggling part-time work and a family, and how she wasn't fairly paid for her job. All things I would have a huge amount of sympathy for were it not for the fact that a) she bought a Starbucks and a muffin every morning b) she smoked like a chimney c) she said she drank half a bottle of wine every night and d) in the two and a half years I worked with her, I never saw her actually do any work whatsoever.

Gerald the Golfer - my manager for a short while. Spent at least 30% of his day browsing golf equipment on the internet. The other 70% was spent telling me how his latest game went. As if I gave a shit.

Incest Irene - not so much irritating as a bit... weird. Her husband died suddenly. We were all very sad for her. Three months later, she'd shacked up with his dad.