Misconception

My brother Jack is massively jealous of his friend who has not one but three nephews and nieces.  This means that whenever I see Jack, he drops massive hints about me getting up the duff.  Nunn family "hints" generally lack subtlety, so they tend to go something like this:

Jack: When are you having babies?

Me: Fuck off.

Still, I'm getting to that age where if I want children, I ought to start thinking about it within the next few years.  To help us with the decision-making process, TheBloke (TM) and I started thinking about the likely impact it might have on our lives.  The closest thing we have to a child is Monty Cat, so we decided on a points system out of 10.  It should be noted at this point that Jack hates cats.

Can we leave it by itself whilst we go away for a night?

Monty Cat - 8
Child - 2


Able to take care of its own toilet needs?

Monty Cat - 8
Child - 1


Cuteness

Monty Cat - 7
Child - 5 (the ginger gene is strong in our families)


Ability to generate money through commercials / look after us in later life


Monty Cat - 2
Child - 8


Likelihood of eating us if we die without feeding it


Monty Cat - 9
Child - 1




Totals: 


Monty Cat - 34
Child - 17


So looks like Jack will have to wait a bit longer.  Perhaps we should get another cat, as we have categorically proved that cats are twice as good as children.  Jack would like that.