We try to instil strict feeding times for Monty Cat - 7.30 a.m. and 7.30 p.m., in an attempt to stop him waking us up too early in the morning, and to get him into a good routine, like a naughty toddler. This suits us, as we generally feed him before we go to work, and then again when we get home.
However, sometimes I need to go into work early. And Monty Cat doesn't always understand this routine. As far as he is concerned, the only reason TheBloke (TM) or I even bother to wake up is to feed him. Therefore when I get up and go downstairs and don't feed him, there is a loud meowing protest, and the occasional biting of ankles.
A week or so ago, after leaving the house without feeding the cat (knowing TheBloke (TM) would feed him in half an hour's time at the regular feeding time), Monty Cat bolted out of the front door with me. He is not normally allowed out of the front of the house, because of the road. I didn't see him. In fact, the first I knew of it was five minutes further down the road when a white van man pulled over and motioned me. "Do you have a ginger and white cat?"
"Yes..." I thought he was going to tell me that he ran over him.
"He's been following you down the street." I turned around. A naughty Monty Cat stared innocently back. We were quite a way from home by this point, and I was worried the cat might be lost. So I decided to walk home again, so he knew where he was.
I turned back home. The cat followed me. I got to near where we lived, and was sure the cat could find his way home from here. I headed back towards the tube station. The cat followed me.
I didn't really want to pick him up a) because I didn't want cat fur over my dark suit and b) because he's fucking massive. But there was no option. I went to scoop up Monty Cat, as a passerby came close. At which point Monty Cat pretended I'd never seen him before in his life, looked at me as if I was some mad-cat-bin-lady and hid under the nearest car.
The passerby gave me a filthy look.
I headed back to work. TheBloke (TM) reported later Monty Cat came in for his breakfast at the usual time.
Today when I got home from work, a parcel had been delivered to our neighbours. Again, it was close to - but not quite - Monty Cat feeding time. Once again, said naughty cat followed me out of the front door, and crossed the road with me to our neighbour's opposite.
It was only as I knocked on their door, I was aware of a ginger bundle of naughtiness waiting in front of me at their door - as if I was the sort of mad lady who never goes anywhere without her cat.
The door opened... and out bolted a massive dog. The neighbour shouted for the dog to get back in, and shouted to their friend that his dog had just "gone for" the cat. To be honest, I don't really blame the dog. If I was a massive dog, and my own front door was opened to reveal a fat, juicy ginger snack on my doorstep, I'd not hesitate in taking a bite either.
Monty Cat flinched for about... 0.5 of a second, and then decided the payoff of possibly getting fed by sticking close to me was worth the possibility of being eaten by a Doberman. In fact at one point, I did wonder if Monty Cat was going to eat the Doberman.
He does like his food.
No comments:
Post a Comment