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What a lovely weekend.  My friend Elinor came to visit and we went for lunch, had a few drinks in a trendy-ish pub, where I felt under-dressed and underglamorous, ate cheese on toast and chocolate, and chatted.  We played Wii and did all manner of weekendy things.

It doesn't make a brilliant story though, does it?  Something I've discovered recently is that mishap and frustration make much better comedy material than"everything's fine thanks".

So, short of anything to whinge about today* (the bastards didn't even tow my car out of consideration to my comedy shortage), I will update you on the latest unusual search terms people are using to find my Plog:

The highest non- "Laura's Plog"ish kind of search is - interestingly - Madam Tamar.  For the last time folks, I saw her ONCE in 1997.  She said I'd get married at 27 (I didn't).  She said I'd go to Leeds University (I didn't).  Should you still wish to go and see her, I don't have her number.  My cousin Nicky is a medium though (profession, not hat size) so if you desperately want that sort of thing, I can put you in touch.  Probably not though, for the person who searched on "Madam Tamar spanking".

Another high entry includes good old "Erica's Wanking Club".  How's the wanking going, Erica?  Keep it up!

"Tamsin Greig pussy".  I get a lot of Tamsin Greig queries.  "Stalking Tamsin Greig", "Where does Tamsin Greig live", "Naked Tamsin Greig".  I have no idea why (other than the fact I've just popped those exact phrases in my Plog).  I would like to make it clear that I am a big fan of Tamsin Greig, but I have no particular wish to know where she lives, and definitely no desire to see her naked.

"Plog sex" is right up there.  That sounds so wrong.  "Would you like it, would you like it, baby?"  "Yes, but not in the Plog.  I'm a Plog virgin, and I've heard it really hurts."

"Bristol University flat caps and ferrets" makes a surprising entry with three people finding the site this way.

"Coalville 14 March 1999".  Interesting.  This was Erica's birthday.  Not Erica of the Wanking Club (unless she's hiding a dark secret from me).  I don't remember what happened though.  Erica might.  She was probably wanking.

"Coalville jacket potatoes".  Ah.  Happy days.  Rancid cottage cheese for only £1.40.

"Does Ann Curry have ticklish feet".  I know no-one called Ann Curry.  But I bet she does.  I bet she also has pubic lice.  (I have no idea who she is.)

"Coalville UK most incestuous town?".  Yes.  Yes it is.

I suppose if I was clever and wanted to lure visitors to my site, I'd "accidentally" drop in phrases like "funniest London blog" or "best blog ever".  But I'm not that bright.  Or am I?  That is enough for now.  You may go away.

*Damn it, I've just remembered I haven't told you my latest plumber story.  Suffice it to say I haven't had a hot shower since Thursday.  And the plumber threw the cat across the floor.  Stay tuned, folks.