At first, a couple of days pass - no Plog, no worries, I'll do it tomorrow. But as two days turn to three or four, and then a week, suddenly the pressure is on to produce something astounding. And actually, I don't really like that sort of pressure, so I put it off again. Vicious circle. Still, I'm here now with absolutely nothing to write about.
*Whistles to self*
OK, well I went up to Sheffield on Thursday night. The traffic was shit. Then I came back from Sheffield and the traffic was shit. I spent nine hours on the road in total, and have come to some interesting conclusions about other road users.
1. Anyone who drives an Audi is a cunt. Particularly those little Audis, who seem to think it's absolutely fine to cut you up or change lane right in front of you if their own lane is looking a bit on the busy side.
2. Anyone who drives a BMW is a bit of a cunt. And usually has loud music on and is testiculating wildly to their moron friends and not looking at the road.
3. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a middle-aged Asian man in possession of a Fiat Punto must do 60 miles per hour in the middle lane, with his right indicator on whilst not wearing a seatbelt. To be fair though, at that speed, in the event of a collision, he's barely likely to brush the steering wheel.
4. Mercedes drivers seem to think of course you will let them out because their car is better than yours.
5. And finally... I love the Mini. Miniminiminimini. I think there's a perception that it's a cheeky little car, because people let me out at junctions far more than they ever did when I had the Corsa or Astra. People wot drive Miniminiminis are well cool. People wot say "well cool" generally aren't.
Today was a lovely day. The sun shone, and I was at my friend Sarah's for a surprise birthday barbecue. It wasn't a surprise for me, mostly because it wasn't my birthday. Also, it's difficult to turn up for a surprise party if you don't know about it. Sarah looked suitably surprised though, and a lovely time was had by all.
Is that a good enough Plog? Must I try harder?
3 comments:
People in Audis, Beamers & Mercs are cunts indeed. It's a well known fact.
I would also like to add a fact learned from Country Road Driving: If you find yourself on a winding single-lane road behind a car - any car - with a Trilby on the Parcel Shelf, you will spend the rest of your journey forced to drive at 25 MPH. It's like the Parcel Shelf Trilby is some sort of international code for 'what's the rush, person-stuck-behind-me? Got a life to continue with once your drive has finished? I haven't, so let's take our time and enjoy the view'.
Thank you Laura - any Plog is better than no plog :o) That's ot a challenge by the way! :o)
Hazel x
Not just a trilby. any gent wearing a hat is oblivious to other users on the road and thinks he is driving around his country estate. On the M1
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