Schrödinger's racoon

Mrs Nunn calls me, very excited.

"We've found a picture on the internet that looks just like your cat! We think Monty is a Mancoon!"

"A what?" I ask.

"A Mancoon!"

I hear Mr Nunn in the background. "Oh," she says, "Dad says it's a Maine Coon."

"Yes," I say, "he's a moggy, but we think there's definitely a bit of Maine Coon or Persian in him..."

"You can totally see it," Mrs Nunn adds excitedly. "And it really explains why he likes water so much."

She has lost me. I never knew that Mrs Nunn knew so much about cats. I ask her to explain.

"Well, racoons love water, don't they?"

"What?"

"Now I know it, I can totally see that your cat is definitely part Maine racoon."

I laugh, thinking this is quite a good joke for Mrs Nunn. Then it becomes obvious she isn't actually joking.

"What?" she says indignantly whilst I'm laughing.

"Mum, cats can't breed with racooons."

"Yes they can," she says huffily. "More species than you'd think interbreed all the time," she says mysteriously. "A cat's wandering in the dense Maine forest one night and a horny racoon... walks past. Lots and lots of species interbreed."

"No, they don't," I say. "Name one."

"Lots," she says, as if this closes the matter. "Anything can be done with genetic engineering."

"Oh, so now a scientist has decided to cross-breed - for his or her own amusement - a ginger cat and a racoon?"

"Shut up," says Mrs Nunn.

"Are you sure racoons like water?" I ask. "Are you thinking of beavers?"

She goes quiet. It's the end of the call.