Seeing the sites

I was - let's face it - still buzzing from the stupendous success of getting rid of the cold caller by telling him I was blind. It may have gone to my head.

Within ten minutes of being at our Tunisian hotel, we were being hassled - as is the Tunisian way - into taking various trips. Trips which we did not wish to take, as we were only there for the weekend, and our entire plans involved: sitting by the pool, sitting on the beach, sitting in the restaurant and sitting at the bar. Anything that involved sitting was good. Anything that involved moving was bad.

Strolling casually through the jasmine to our hotel room, planning on doing some good sitting, we were interrupted "Have you done quad bikes?" asked Simo. Simo the Knob as he became known.

I thought on my feet. "Yes, yes we have."

"When was that?" asked Simo.

"Last year. We were here last year."

"Camel ride? Have you done camel ride?" enquired Simo the Knob.

"No thanks."

"Ah, but camels are good. Is good ride."

"No, I don't like camels," I lied pathetically. Simo looked confused. "I mean, I'm allergic to them. I am allergic to camels."

"Pirate ship! You do pirate ship!" Simo was persistent, if nothing else.

"I'm blind!"

Fuck, I need to stop doing that.