In a fashion...

Let's be honest, you wouldn't describe me as someone with excellent fashion sense. If you were feeling generous, you might say, "She usually looks OK-ish" or if you were trying to flatter me, you might even try, "Your personal shopper did pretty well today," but let's be honest, left to my own devices, I'd probably be wearing last season's bin bag with a 1990s' bodysuit. Complete with poppers. The press-stud kind, not the party drug kind.

So a few months ago, feeling kinda trendy, I bought some leggings from Sainsbury's. For Sainsbury's, I understand, is a master of haute couture. Finally I was fashionable. Go me! As the till lady rang through my purchase, she ended my brief clothes joy with just one withering sentence: "Oh, I didn't know we still sold these."

Undeterred, I decided I needed some new sandals the other day. Of course I don't actually need some new sandals, but I wanted some. I located a pair I liked in the sale. I tried them on. They fitted. Reader, I bought them. And when I got back to my desk, I Googled them because they looked very, very cutting edge. I found out they were called Gladiator sandals. I felt a bit like Russell Crowe, but in a good way.

Then I Googled "Gladiator sandals" and found the following question on Yahoo:

"Do you think gladiator sandals will be in style for summer 2009?"

What? They've previously been in style?

Every single comment pretty much said no, with this one summing it up nicely, "nope, definitely not. 2008 was more laid back and relaxed, which is why the gladiators fit right in, for like going to the beach and whatever. 2009 is going to be VERY sophisticated and I don't think they will fit in at all." A further comment said that they were a "little too 2008".

Seriously? Seriously? When do these memos go round? I only became aware of their existence on Wednesday lunchtime, and by Wednesday afternoon they'd already been out of fashion for six months? Why does no-one tell me these things?

I pondered that question for a while, and then came up with an answer. If anyone did actually try to talk to me about this season's sandal / WAG / handbag I'd probably look at them incredulously and delete them from my mobile phone.

Still, it would have been nice to know about the sandals.