Reading the future

Ploggers, I have a task for you.

Go to http://www.magic8ball.midnightfun.co.uk/ and ask the magic 8 ball a question.

For the uninitiated, a magic 8 ball is a curious American toy, which is a large ball filled with water... and actually it's too hard to describe. But the basic idea is that it's a kind of fortune telling ball; you're supposed to ask it a question that can be answered with yes or no. And it will reply, usually with vague answers like "Reply hazy, try again" or "As I see it, no".

So, someone's made an online version. See above. Go and ask it a question. Done it? No? Go off and do it then.

Done it now?

OK, read on.

Brilliantly, BRILLIANTLY, this website also allows the casual reader to view the last few hundred questions the magic 8 ball has been asked. So your super-private questions are now viewable by the entire human race. So sorry, Ploggers, if you've just entered "Will my genital warts clear up before Christmas" or "Does Sandra Smith know I'm cheating on her with her sister Denise?". Busted.

(Don't worry, they disappear after a day or so.)

So, my favourite questions that others have asked the ball so far:

- Is James Stratford my best friend? ("As I see it, yes")

- Is James Stratford going to rape me? ("Outlook not so good")

- Does God like my songs? ("You may rely on it")

- Is my penis big? ("Don't count on it")

- Am I a fat ugly cow? ("It is decidedly so")

- Has Marie Starbuck got swine flu? ("It is certain")

- Am I going to get beaten up tomorrow? ("It is certain")

- Is Siobhan a tramp? ("Reply hazy, try again")

- Can you smell gasoline? ("My reply is no")

Finally - and most distressingly of all:

- Have I got cancer? ("Cannot predict now")

Perhaps a GP might be a better starting place than an animated random answer generator?

Best thing is, now that you've all gone and asked the ball your questions, I can now spy on all my Ploggers' deepest darkest secrets. Funny, the most recent all seem to be, "Is Laura a bitch?" ("It is decidedly so").