Procrastinate later

Saturdays are always paved with good intentions. Summer Saturdays, TheBloke (TM) goes off to play cricket all day, and I have the best part of twelve hours to tick things off my to-do list. The to-do list currently looks like this:

- Buy house

- Sew button onto cardigan

- Write novel

- Ring vets

- Tidy shelving

- Reply to my backlog of email

OK, perhaps exchange and completion of a house in one weekend might be a bit too much to ask for. Additionally, the novel is perhaps a tall-ish order with a mere twelve hours to spare. But the rest should be achievable, surely?

Well, in case you're interested, here is roughly what the last ten Saturdays have looked like:

- 12 noon, consider getting out of pyjamas

- 1 p.m. watch SkyPlus rubbish, mostly Ugly Betty. Don't even concentrate on this, because I'm Facebooking in the background and - unusually for a girl - can't concentrate on more than one thing at once

- 3 p.m. consider going into town

- 4 p.m. put clothes on, go to Oxford Street

- 4.32 p.m. realise Oxford Street on a Saturday is where they hold the weekly Cunt Convention. I am - as ever - in attendance

- 5 p.m. come home and irritate the cat

- 6 p.m. call everyone I can think of in an attempt to avoid sewing the button on my cardigan. Or writing the novel.

- 6.40 p.m. try and find a really stupid addictive game on the internet I can waste my life with. If you want one, try http://fantasticcontraption.com/ or http://www.ig.ns.ac.yu/fun.html but you won't get your life back and don't say I didn't warn you.

- 9.00 p.m. realise TheBloke (TM) is home soon, and start preparing his dinner (otherwise he beats me, but only because I deserve it).

- 10.00 p.m. make a list of everything I need to do next Saturday.