I spoke to my friend Juliet today. Juliet has recently started reading the Plog, and has commented a couple of times that despite me having spent time with her that day, she has never yet been included in a Plog.
"Why is this?" you ask, and rightly so. "Is she really horrible like Ned at the wedding that time?"
"No," I would reply. "Juliet is lovely, and is a very, very funny stand-up comic. But there is a dark secret about Juliet."
"You have our interest now," you would reply. All of you. In unison. "What is this dark secret about Juliet? Does she bite her toenails?"
"Well, she might," I would say. "She looks like she probably does. But that's not it. In fact, the dark secret about Juliet is more my issue than hers."
You would press me to continue.
Until this point I have feared to write about Juliet because of the worry that her real life talent might spill into writing.
For, no matter how secrety I want to keep my special secrets, all Juliet has to say to me is, "Hi Laura," and out they gush. It is extraordinary and unpleasant, all that gushing. Within the space of three hours last Wednesday she extracted no fewer than three names from me pertaining to Gossip of the Secretest Sort (GSS).
Luckily I don't seem to have been tricked into revealing anything in writing just yet.
What were Juliet's special tactics? It is a mystery. To be honest, I'm not even sure she was that interested in my GSS. Maybe she just has one of those faces.
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