I am one of those people you hate. I am a Morning Person. My alarm, usually set somewhere about 7.25 a.m. beeps every morning, yet I'm usually awake a minute or two beforehand. I leap straight out of bed (why dally? I'm already awake.). I do not understand the function of snooze: surely if you've got time to spare, it's better to have full, proper sleep than sleep interrupted every five minutes with more beeping. And - let's face it - no-one likes the beeping.
So the alarm will sound, I will get out of bed and allow the tooth brushing and the showering to commence. All is good. Now, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a lie-in as much as the next person. (Well, not as much as my brother who has actually elevated the humble lie-in to life purpose.) I do enjoy those Sunday mornings when there's no reason to go out and no reason to get up just yet. But when I have to get up... well, I just do. I'm not particularly grumpy... I have several friends who lose the power of speech for a good fifteen minutes after they've woken up, whereas I'm pretty lucid straight away. Up I get, and on the day goes.
Not for the last two mornings.
The last two mornings have been a real test of character for me. Dark still when the alarm sounds, cold outside, still only the very start of the week - not even nearly the weekend... And the bed so warm and sleepsome. Suddenly I understood everyone's dilemma: bed = good, outside of bed = bad. Sadly also for me - as for many of the population, outside of bed also = getting paid.
Luckily, I am an upbeat, positive person, and I do not like to present you, my fellow Ploggers, with a solution-less problem.
Problem: In order to get paid I need to leave my bed.
Solution: Become a prostitute!
It's genius. I can be a prostitute all winter whilst the weather is rubbish, and keep warm (and exercised), then in the summer, I can go back to my normal job. Now I just have to find a way of pitching it to my boss. "Self-employment opportunity" perhaps... I'll let you know how I get on.
5 comments:
WHORE!
I'd like to make it clear that lying in bed is something i often do, just because i can. What better reason? Not having a lie in in missing a perfect opportunity to do nothing.
May i point out i wrote that last comment in bed.
and as charlie brooker wrote 'anyone who leaps out of bed with a smile on their face and a spring in their step is deranged'
too true
enough, back to bed
BJ
Jack, you are NOT e e cummings.
Capital letters are your friends.
L x
mummy is SO proud of you
Mum x
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