I am easily brainwashed. At the moment I am trying to be a bit more green. I have always done fairly well - I recycle everything I can, have energy efficient appliances... but I have a weakness when it comes to carrier bags. I never remember to take my own to the supermarket, and whilst I do reuse carriers as bin liners, they tend to end up stockpiled in my cupboard, sometimes until they start to biodegrade.
So today, I thought it was time to save the environment. I did this by taking three carrier bags with me when I drove the ten-minute walk to Sainsbury's. I also bought eco-friendly washing powder, so if you all die of global warming, you can't blame me. These were my thoughts as I filled my car (which I only ever really use to drive to Sainsbury's and occasionally to visit my parents) up with petrol.
I used my carrier bags. All was good. I felt smug. Until I drove home, parked in front of the giant flood-puddle, where my parking space is, leaned over at an awkward angle to get the groceries from the boot without drowning... and the carrier bag split. Luckily I had a spare. Still at an awkward angle, I decanted groceries from the (frankly substandard) Costcutter bag to the (much more durable) Tesco bag. As I lifted them out of the boot, I dropped my car keys. In the puddle. Then a potato fell out of my bag. Then I twisted my arm. Then the split (substandard) Costcutter bag blew across the car park, and I had to abandon my groceries and my unlocked car whilst I chased after it.
God was clearly sending me the signal that we should screw the environment. I think I'll have roast panda bear for dinner.