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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

The cat who cried "Wolf"

I know I have previously alluded to the fact that Monty Cat is a bit stupid. Evidence for the following includes:

- Pretending he's asleep and NOT trying to steal your food... only to actually fall asleep until well after you've finished the meal
- Falling asleep on the windowsill with all four legs stuck up in the air... and falling off the windowsill mid-snore
- Chasing his own tail
- Being scared of his own reflection. Every day.

However, I've recently found out that Monty Cat is a feline Lassie! Or maybe Flipper the Dolphin or Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. (I just mistyped that as Skippy the Busy Kangaroo. Can you imagine that TV series? Sonny: Skippy, Skippy, g'day mate! Skippy: Rack off, Sonny, I'm a bit tied up at the moment.)

Each morning at about 6.45, Monty Cat alerts me to the fact that an emergency is occurring - namely that Timmy has fallen down the well again, or the old barn is on fire. He does this by biting my toes incessantly until I get out of bed.

Once I am out of bed, he miaows at me and trots to the door, looking back over his feline shoulder with a look of dire consequence on his face. I follow him. He takes me to the stairs. If I stop following him, he comes back to where I am, and thoughtfully bites my ankles to remind me of the emergency in hand.

Down the stairs we go. Monty Cat stops at alternate stairs either to ensure I'm still behind him, or else in a cunning attempt to make me trip over him and fall to my untimely death. His little face seems to be saying, "Come on, come on! There's no time to lose! Timmy's this way!" He miaows plaintively. I follow him through the kitchen and into the utility room where Monty Cat seems to think the disaster is occurring.

It's at this point Monty Cat's expression changes to, "Oh, sorry, I was wrong. No emergency after all. But as it happens, you now appear to be standing next to the drawer where you keep the cat food, and since you're here anyway, you may as well feed me."

This happens every morning. The joke'll be on him though. One day little Timmy WILL be stuck down the well in our utility room, and I just won't believe him.

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