Thirty therapy

Ploggers, this will be the last time you hear from me whilst I'm still in my twenties. Yes, the inevitable has happened, and tomorrow I shall be turning 30. This is quite patently ridiculous as I am absolutely certain I haven't changed at all since I was 17. Yet - technically - if you do the maths, indeed tomorrow, I shall be turning 30. Thirty. Old, old, old.

At my age, my parents had been married for about 8 years and had a fat, unprepossessing newborn (me). I - on the other hand - have joint ownership of a fat, unprepossessing cat.

So, what advice would I give myself for my twenties, looking back?

- Remember you're getting less gorgeous every day. Go out and shag as many people as you can while your looks last.

- Don't sign up to Tiscali broadband

Actually, that's about it.

So, this evening TheBloke (TM), Monty Cat and I are travelling up to see my parents and my brother in Loughborough. And then tomorrow there will be all manner of celebrations, including a trip to Alton Towers (to prove I'm not yet a grown up) and an evening meal with my friends and family.

It will be awesome.

Now, TheBloke (TM) is out for an hour, do you reckon I've got time to shag a few more people whilst I'm still in my twenties?