Ikea Part Three

So, off we went to Ikea to get some bed slats. They were put on the bed frame. The bed frame now looked something like a bed. The wardrobe doors fitted the wardrobe. The new handles even allowed us to open the wardrobe. I had even got the worst of the muddy Ikea footprints off the stair carpet. Everything was tickety boo.

Well, almost everything.

We ordered a double mattress from John Lewis to go on our new Ikea bed (now with new, improved slats!). "But Laura," I hear you cry, "I regularly read your Plog, and I heartily agree with almost everything you say. But John Lewis is a different supplier! You can't blame Ikea for another company's poor service."

I say hush. Hush, hush, hush. Listen up.

The John Lewis mattress was booked to arrive on a Thursday. Ten minutes before delivery, John Lewis called to make me aware. The delivery men wore "carpet protectors" on their shoes. My stairs remained unmuddied. They asked to use the toilet. The toilet seat was carefully left down after they finished.

I revelled in the knowledge that finally, FINALLY the bed was ready, and we would never never never never never never never never never never have to go to Ikea ever again.

Until TheBloke (TM) got home. And put the mattress on the bed. And we noticed that the mattress was about 20cm too small for the bed. I swore. I shouted. I stamped my little feet. Actually, they're fairly average-sized feet, but I stamped them anyway. I checked the John Lewis website. I'd definitely ordered a double. I checked the Ikea website...

It was at this point we realised that Ikea beds are totally different sizes to normal-sized beds. And - surprise surprise - the only place you can buy mattresses to fit is... wait for it... Ikea. And - surprise surprise - their mattresses are about three times the price of anywhere else. And then of course you have to buy special Ikea bedding, special Ikea duvet covers etc. etc.

Ploggers, this was enough. I wrote to Ikea. Tune in soon to find out just how brilliant their customer service is.