Continuing the countdown of ridiculous festive lyrics. In at number two, it's that old favourite, Hark the Herald Angels Sing.
That said, the first verse isn't too bad. It mostly makes sense:
Hark the herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled"
Joyful, all ye nations rise
Join the triumph of the skies
With the angelic host proclaim:
"Christ is born in Bethlehem"
Hark! The herald angels sing
"Glory to the newborn King!"
It's verse two where things start getting a bit... funky.
Christ by highest heav'n adored
Christ the everlasting Lord!
OK, all making sense so far. Heaven adores Jesus (not that impressive if heaven created him. That's a bit like me making a mince pie and telling everyone how good my own mince pie is). Everlasting Lord sounds a bit like a battery that won't run out, but OK, at least it makes sense.
Late in time behold Him come
Offspring of a Virgin's womb
What does this mean? "Late in time..." is Jesus a bit on the tardy side? "Offspring of a Virgin's womb". This makes sense (well, of course it doesn't biologically, but we all know the story: "The angels done it, Mum, I swears I is a virgin...")
My main problem with this line is the terrible, unforgivable attempted rhyme of "come" with "womb". So much so that every time I sing it, I have to force myself to be grown up and not sing "Offspring of a Virgin's womm" just to make it rhyme.
Veiled in flesh the Godhead see
Hail the incarnate Deity
What's a Godhead? Anyone? I think this is about fleshy God again. "Incarnate", I think, literally from the Latin means "made of meat". So this couplet is all about saying hello to the meaty God. Hello meat God!
Pleased as man with man to dwell
Jesus, our Emmanuel
Jesus likes living with men? Or men like living with Jesus? No idea. Everyone seems quite smug though.
Hail the heav'n-born Prince of Peace!
Hail the Son of Righteousness!
More smugness here. He must be a pain in the arse at dinner parties. "Hello, I'm Meat God, Son of Righteousness. Nice to meet you, root of Jesse. How's that lion?"
Light and life to all he brings,
Ris’n with healing in his wings
Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. Jesus can fly? THAT is news to me. To be fair, it doesn't specifically detail that he can fly, but it does say quite categorically that he has wings. So he could be like a flightless bird like a penguin or an emu. Jesus the emu. Jemu.
Mild He lays His glory by
Huh?
Born that man no more may die,
Born to raise the sons of earth
Born to give them second birth
Just to offend anyone I haven't yet managed to... I heard a Bible reading earlier this week that talked about Joseph finding out Mary was up the duff and intending to cast her aside until an angel appeared to him. They then went on to Bethlehem to be counted or something along those lines, and they still - at this stage - weren't married. Firstly, should they have been sharing that cattle shed at all, unchaperoned? Secondly, did they ever get married? I don't remember hearing anything about their wedding. I think we may have uncovered some sort of scandal here... Anyway, I digress. Second birth, off to heaven, we get it. I've always been a bit foggy about how Jesus' death actually meant my soul was saved (well, OK, not mine), but everyone else seems to understand, so perhaps that was an RE lesson I missed.
Tune in tomorrow for the number one, most ridiculous carol lyrics.
1 comment:
You are (quite correctly) offended by "come" not rhyming with "womb" - but what about the terrible effort to rhyme "Prince of Peace" with "Righteousness"?
Of course, there are two approaches to solving this theological dilemma. The first is to sing in a Californian accent such that he becomes the Prince of Piss. This only works if you are amongst people you don't know, obviously. The alternative is to make him the Son of Righteous Knees, which leads to its own difficulties.
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