How do you solve a problem like learning difficulties?

Once I'd realised it, it was blindingly obvious. My IQ had clearly dropped at least fifteen points in one evening. What on earth could have caused this?

Saturday night television. More specifically, How do you solve a problem like Maria? For non-UK readers, this is an X-Factor-style show, where girls are undergoing an 8-week audition process to star in Andrew Lloyd Webber's new production of The Sound of Music. They each sing a different song each week, and one or two of them get knocked out of the contest.

I love watching it because Andrew Lloyd Webber is the spitting image of my high school headmistress. Honestly. It's very scary in some ways, because I keep thinking I'm going to get told to pull my socks up. In real life Andrew Lloyd Webber says that to people pretty rarely. Even more rarely through the medium of reality TV shows.

Anyway, whilst watching this programme could easily have decreased my IQ by a good ten points... what about the other five?

Reader, I voted.

(Go Abi, go Abi!)

I did indeed text-vote for Abi. As we all know, reality TV has been proved to send IQ plummeting through the floor, so when I took part in Test the Nation just minutes later, I underperformed.

Perhaps even more worrying, when I told Erica I'd voted for Abi, her response was, "I should have guessed. She's your type." So not only has reality TV made me a moron, it's also turned me gay.

Not a bad weekend's work.