Before I complete this Plog in my usual sarcastic, belittling style, I would like to say that I think the library here is fantastic. The staff are knowledgeable*, their computer system is amazing (you just have to pop a pile of books next to a computer monitor and it automatically knows all of the ones you want to take out) and they even email you a few days before your book becomes overdue, so you don't even have to pay any fines.
A couple of weeks, despite their advanced warning system, I returned a paperback a day late, and the automated system told me I had to pay a 10p fine. So I took the book to the front desk and told the lady that the system had charged me. She said, "Well that's very rude of it, isn't it?"
I said, "Well, I think it's my fault rather than its, for bringing the book back late."
I proffered my 10p, which she refused "in the interests of customer service". Bless her. I don't know if it occurred to her that really, even if I had taken umbrage at my 10p fine and refused to patronise the library in the future, exactly what the library would lose from that. It's kind of a topsy-turvy business model; in a way, the fewer customers they have, the cheaper the place is to run.
Anyway, I digress. Today I went into the library and walked past a colourful sign stating, "Slimming World here today! 12 noon! No joining fee!" It was exactly 12 noon as I entered the place.
The library also appeared to be celebrating its birthday. Its fourth birthday to be precise. This was a bit odd, but there were balloons and they were offering four free DVD rentals. Then I noticed it. Right by the entrance to the Slimming World room was a giant birthday cake. I'd been in the library for approximately two minutes when an announcement came over the tannoy:
"Ladies and gentlemen, to celebrate our fourth birthday we would like to share cake with all our customers. Please go to the front of the library for a slice of cake."
There was one fatty (sorry, Slimming World customer) who I swear dithered for a full 30 seconds, as if pulled by opposing magnetic forces between the cake and the weight loss group. The cake inevitably won. It would have made a perfect photo. The massive cake, the Slimming World sign and the dithering fatty.
It was good cake.
* Actually, Tower Hamlets, in its infinite dickdom, has renamed all of its libraries "Idea Stores". Because a brainstorming session run by council morons have clearly decided the youff don't know what a library is, and so have simplified the concept. Were the staff not quite so lovely, I would be tempted to amuse myself by going to the front desk on a weekly basis and asking to purchase one of their finest ideas. And when they said that they didn't sell them, I would cite the Trades Description Act. "You clearly state this is a store. A store for ideas. If I set up an egg shop and refuse to sell you eggs, you'd think I was quite, quite mad. Now sell me an idea or I'll sue you!"
* The staff are knowledgeable generally, apart from the lady today, when I took out Gone with the Wind on DVD, who said to me, "Heathcliff!" I said, "I hope Heathcliff isn't in it. I bloody hate Wuthering Heights." She said, "Oh, it's similar though, isn't it?" I said, "Well, um, Gone with the Wind is set during the American Civil War and Wuthering Heights is set in... um... Yorkshire, so..." But then she started whistling a Kate Bush song, so I left it at that.
PS Hazel informs me she's now opened up the group to public membership, so if you want to join: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=402667614464&ref=ts, my extra special friends get a free badge.
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