TheBloke (TM) solved the spider crisis - picked up the monster with a piece of kitchen roll and launched it out of the window, unharmed. This extreme bravery surprised me as I was always under the impression he was terrified of spiders. Turns out he's only scared of his native poisonous South African spiders munching on his face. The pussy.
I've been such a girl recently, what with ironing, making cakes, cooking dinners and being scared of spiders. I might go and spit in the street later, grow some nice leg hair or scratch my balls just to reaffirm my feminism. Grr.
But first I have to do the washing up. What on earth is happening to me?