There aren't many things that scare me. I don't mean in a big spider or giant moth way. I don't even mean in a jumping out of a plane or making a speech to three hundred thousand people - naked - way.
I mean in a horror film way. Of course, I can be made to jump as much as the next person - but I'm talking about getting freaked out and scared after a film has ended. I don't know if it's a lack of imagination, but whilst I enjoy horror films, I don't mind being in the flat by myself; if I hear a noise in the night, I'd rather go and investigate it; I'm not scared of ghosts or vampires or very thin monsters (don't think I've forgotten, Erica*).
Mirrors can bother me a bit, owing to being exposed to an (admittedly Disney) horror film at a young age - Watcher in the Wood which traumatised me for most of my childhood and quite a large portion of my adolescence. Other than that, I'm all good.
So I went to see Relocated at the Royal Court Theatre this afternoon. The Royal Court is probably my favourite London theatre and I really have seen some cracking plays there. Today's was billed as "the scariest show in London" and starred - amongst others - the very watchable Nicola Walker. I went alone.
Yes, there were bits that made me jump, mostly done by clever lighting and set. Other than that, I was fine. Mostly. Until two characters started singing - for absolutely no good reason - in a spooky chant-like voice:
Hush little baby,
Don't say a word,
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird
and so on. How did they guess my one phobia (other than moths and mirrors, obviously)? They sang the whole song. With the audience in total darkness and the stage lights out.
Unlike my lights. Which may well be left on tonight.
* Not that Erica is a very thin monster. I mean, that's not a comment about her weight. She's thin. Just not a monster. Oh never mind.