Sunlight and highlights

Another August, another Edinburgh Festival. I had promised TheBloke (TM), who had never previously been to Scotland, that there would be haggis and kilts and - most importantly - a lot of rain.

He was disappointed. There was no haggis. There was not a single kilt. And - shockingly - it stayed dry and sunny for the entire Bank Holiday weekend. Something is wrong with the world.

So, review time. Short and sweet perhaps is the way to go with this. And chronological.

Alyssa Kyria - some interesting character comedy with a couple of good lines. Was slightly put off by the coupley-couple in front of me who seemed unable to get through an entire hour without leaning their fat heads together and blocking my view.

Ginger and Black - brilliant, great acting, good music and clever. A lot like Flight of the Conchords. Ginger and Black (I think) were just starting out when I was still doing comedy. I gigged with them once. One day I suspect this may be my greatest claim to fame.

Josie Long - so lovely I wanted to be her friend. She handed out handmade programmes at the start and chatted to the audience as they were coming in. I got given a special box that I had to open at a certain point in the show. I don't know that I'd call it "stand up" in its purest form. Though there were a few laughs, it definitely wasn't gag driven. It was more like spending an hour with someone who you loved to hear talk because they're lovely.

In a Thousand Pieces - TheBloke (TM) and Nice Kate's Other Half (NKOH) bailed on this one. It was an interpretive dance piece highlighting the plight of Eastern European women forced into the sex industry. TheBloke (TM) insisted on calling it "Rape: The Musical" for the entire weekend. The performers are talented and throw themselves into the piece, but it felt a bit "worthy" to me.

Watson and Oliver - not bad. Though NKOH did not look impressed. Likeable people, slightly over-long sketches which tapered off a bit.

John Pinette - fat bloke talking about food. Big shock. NKOH started to look murderous.

Elizabeth and Raleigh - should have been funny. Wasn't. Still, got a chocolate coin, so not a total loss.

The Vodka Bar - technically not a show, more of a, well, vodka bar, but the Jamaican Mule was excellent. I was a bit pissed. Not as pissed as Nice Kate had been a couple of days before though. She had so many unidentified falling over injuries that the GP's advice was necessary. We might have to stage an intervention.

There is far too much to write about, so other highlights will be listed:

• Rude waiters
• TheBloke (TM) being scarily good on the Wii Fit. The fat cheat.
• Guitar Hero - I rock! (On the Easy setting)
• Mary King's Close
• Fat ankles.

I am going back to Edinburgh tomorrow. But for work. Boo.