Split personality

Most of the time I am a grown up. I pay the mortgage, have Direct Debits, rarely (but sometimes) run out of milk. I like documentaries, theatre and literature. I like art deco, olives and tomato juice. I can express political opinions relatively eloquently. I go to the dentist of my own volition. I don't feel scared ordering meals in restaurants. I no longer buy clothes from Topshop or New Look. Most of the time I am a grown up.

But sometimes I am not. Recently a few of my schoolfriends got together, and we were discussing the recent school reunion. We were sharing not-so-fond memories of Belinda McOrange and Annabelle... and I floated the idea of becoming Annabelle - just for a week - in my Facebook status updates.

Now, the grown-up part of me (and Sarah, who often is my conscience, when my own conscience fails) knows that I should leave it. I should rise above it. That actually, not responding makes me the better human being. Mrs Nunn says I should just leave it alone and that Annabelle and Belinda McOrange are mentally unstable. However, Mrs Nunn has self-diagnosed herself as having Asperger's (she hasn't), but this enables me to ignore her suggestion as clearly people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

But the not-grown-up part of me, and the part that doesn't listen to Mrs Nunn or to Sarah, thinks it would be very, very, very funny. And unfortunately, sometimes that voice wins over. Updating my status on Facebook for a week with messages such as "Laura - as Annabelle - is amazed at just how good her own reflection looks" or "Laura - as Annabelle - can't find a parking space for the Bentley" or "Laura - as Annabelle - is exhausted from having twenty-three orgasms in the last five minutes."

But I will take the lead from Ploggers. If you think I should grow up and leave it alone, let me know. (I may ignore you anyway.) If you think that sounds very, very, very funny, then let me know. If you have any Annabelle suggestions, even better, post them here, and they may get included on my Facebook status. If I do it. Which I won't if you tell me not to. But I probably will.

And if you'd like to be my Facebook friend, just add me with a note saying you read the Plog, and I'll make sure you can see my updates!