Floored argument

So, yesterday I had to drive to Sheffield for work. Despite living not all that far away as a little kid, I've only been there three times. Once to be born (though I didn't have much say in this; I'd have prefered somewhere a bit more literary. Stratford-upon-Avon hospital perhaps), once to look round the university (and eliminate it from UCAS proceedings) and yesterday.

It's hilly, it's grey, it rained a lot. It reminded me a lot of the university town I actually did end up in... Sheffield city centre must have been redesigned recently because poor Jessica was unable to navigate successfully. I saw "poor Jessica". At the time she was, "You fucking useless sat nav. I'm so going to trade you in for a Tom-Tom if we pass a Curry's." She kept trying to take me up bus lanes and cycle paths, and though I did my best to avoid illegaility, I'm still not entirely convinced an avalanche of penalty notices won't snow through the letterbox in a few days' time.

Also, the M1 gods had decided I was having far too good a time of it now they've finally finished the Luton works, so decided to dig up the entire route between Loughborough and Sheffield. In short, Sheffield is shit. Hope you appreciated the alliteration and assonance.

Having said that, I do think I prefer working with Northerners. I'm not sure if it's my roots, but I love the accent and people do seem to have a drier, wittier sense of humour - they seem friendlier too. Perhaps I'm generalising.

Of course, no visit oop North is complete without a pitstop to see Mr and Mrs Nunn, who are, I'd like to say "increasingly eccentric" but that suggests there's been some augmentation in the madness, which to be fair has been pretty consistent most of my life. Mrs Nunn would like wooden floors. Mr Nunn is resisting. You haven't seen low-level conflict like this since the Cold War. Mrs Nunn sneaks in B&Q brochures. Mr Nunn makes loud comments about how all the TV wires would be visible if there's no carpet to hide them under.

I'm surprised this hasn't made front page of the Loughborough Echo as this is quite literally the most exciting thing that's happened in Loughborough since the furore around whether or not the bus stop was going to move a few feet to the right.

Still, at least it's not Sheffield. Or Coalville.