Write now

I have learned a lot this week. I have learned that if you vaguely mention religion, the recruiters come out in force. I have learned that February 29th is to stop the seasons rather than the days getting out of whack. I have learned tips and tricks on writing styles from Stephen King's manual On Writing.

From now on I shall avoid the passive tense. From now on, the passive tense shall be avoided. Tee hee, I'm so funny.

See, I'd like to write a novel. I love writing. As Stephen King says, for a writer, writing isn't work, it's a kind of "inspired play". And that's how I feel about my Plog - most of the time I love writing it. Most of the time I haven't got a clue what I'm going to write before I start typing... and sometimes the direction it goes off in surprises me. Sometimes those are the best ones.

So every so often I make an attempt at writing something a bit more solid - a novel. I gave up writing a serious novel, as I pick apart my own sentences the minute they fail to live up to the standards of Ian McEwan or Anne Tyler. And my main problem - even with a comedy tome - is that I am rubbish with plot or character. In so much as I don't care enough about the characters (even if they're based on myself!) to develop them, and I'm not imaginative enough to come up with a creative story.

Stephen King suggests asking "what if..." - what if vampires attacked a suburb? What if an innocent was sent to Death Row? What if... But really, all this lets you do is write like Stephen King. No bad thing, but (sadly owing to a lack of imagination), I'm not looking to write in the horror genre. My "what ifs" go: what if I turned up a few minutes late for work? What if I did my supermarket shopping at Tesco instead of Sainsbury's? Inspiring.

So if anyone has any plot or characters they'd like to donate, please get in touch. Thank you.