I was in Pizza Express. I wasn't all that hungry, so thought that perhaps a pasta dish might hit the spot rather more than a giant pizza, but it was a tough decision.
The waitress came over. "Lasagne, please," said I.
"OK," she said. Then she looked worried. "We don't have any lasagne."
"Oh," I said. Reader, I panicked. "I'll have the pizza pomodoro e pancetta," I bluffed, thinking that bacon and tomatoes sounded pretty good on a pizza, and feeling quite smug with my (admittedly fairly basic) mastery of Italian. When I say "mastery", this is limited entirely to pizza ingredients and - I'm not quite sure how - knowing the word for "bin".
The waitress was very prompt. Within three minutes, both TheBloke (TM) and I had our pizzas.
There was something wrong. Whilst TheBloke (TM) had a pizza simply oozing with mozzerella... my pizza was entirely cheese-fucking-free.
I had a pizza base, tomato sauce and bacon. Reader, I had ordered what was basically a sodding bacon sandwich.
If it doesn't have cheese, it's not a pizza. One for the cassonetto.
No comments:
Post a Comment