The man sitting opposite me on the tube caught my eye, smiled and slowly, as if he were in a porn film, started unwrapping something from Paperchase. He took it out of its bag, met my eyes again, smiled, glanced downwards, and slowly started opening the folded tissue paper.
He looked up again to check I was watching, and made the final preparations to reveal his purchase of... two small penguin-shaped Christmas ornaments. He turned to his mother (or his very old girlfriend) and said, "I wouldn't have paid six pounds each for those."
Then he carefully put his penguins away again, smiling at me once more.
The freaks were out in force on Oxford Street today, although I imagine this is only to be expected during the sales. Also I have noticed that when I am hungry or mardy, there are a lot more freaks about. To those of you who are scientifically minded, this might suggest that perhaps my state of mind is to blame for the presence or absence of annoying freaks. But you would be wrong. I am perfect, and it is only when I am hungry or mardy (or sometimes both) that the freaks come out. So there.
1 comment:
You mean you are the cause of mad people? The fountainhead of freaks?
How do you feel about that?
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