Corsaga

The hubcap saga continues. The Geordie at the call centre promised that one of two garages would call me within the next couple of hours to arrange collection of the car (I assume he imagined that such a serious problem as missing hubcaps would definitely require a towtruck). One of the garages was in Loughton (which he pronounced "Luffton") and the other was in Woolwich (which he pronounced, well "Wool-wich").

Neither Luffton nor Wool-wich have been in touch with me. I imagine this is because there are furious ongoing conversations with Vauxhall.

"Hello Vauxhall? This is the Loughton garage. We've got a Corsa due to come in with missing hubcaps, and none of my staff have a bloody clue what they are. You've never heard of them either? Can I spell it? Sure, I think it's spelt h-u-b-b-c-a-p-p-s. We've got as much information from the driver as possible, but I'm afraid it's a woman and they don't know anything about cars. I'm fairly sure my mate used to own a Rover with hubcaps. I think it's something to do with the radiator. The driver said it was something to do with the wheels, but you know what women are like! You'll get back to me? Great. Thanks."

In the meantime, the Woolwich garage is also phoning Vauxhall.

"Hello, Vauxhall? Have you ever heard of hubcaps? No this isn't a prank call. No, it's not like asking an apprentice builder for a glass hammer. Apparently they're real things. Go on a Corsa. No? We've never heard of them either."

No wonder mine were stolen - it appears they're rather difficult to get hold of.