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Saturday, September 01, 2007

The birds and the bees


Today I visited some bee hives. I will try my hardest to refrain from making bee-related jokes for the rest of the post, but I doubt I'll succeed.


Things you may not know about bees:

  1. They go to each other's hives and try and rob each other's food. Then they have big fights and try to tear each other's wings off.

  2. Usually more than one queen bee hatches at once, and they have a big fight to decide who lives and who dies.

  3. The queen bee gets fertilised in mid-air by a drone bee. A mid-air shag! Imagine that! Worse luck for the drone bee... his genitalia snaps off and remains inside the queen bee to fertilise her. I can imagine pitching that to the drone:

"Fancy a shag?"

"Not half."

"All you have to do is fly up really high, find the queen and give her one."

"Great."

"Oh, one thing..."

"What?"

"Well, it's not important, but basically, when you do, your little bee penis will snap off and stay inside the queen, and you'll die a slow death. Mid-air."

"Oh, that's fine. Thanks for letting me know. I'm off. How do my wings look?"


1 comment:

Unknown said...

I thought of printing this off and giving a copy to Eileen and Derek when I see them at church next.
what do you think?