Face to Facebook

I've tried to steer away from this, I really have. But I'm sorry, I'm going to have to talk about Facebook again. Specifically this time, an application called Compare People.

This application will bring up two of your friends at a time and ask things like "Who would you rather kiss?" You then click on the friend you'd rather kiss. Ratings can be anonymous, but you get the chance to see how you stack up against your other friends.

Well, over the last few weeks or so, results have been dribbling in. I would like to share some thoughts with you.

Apparently:

100% of people think I'm nicer than whoever they compared me to. I rock.

100% of people would rather live with me. Though the sample size is only two. And I can't stand to share, so to be honest, this one's a bit of a non-starter.

100% of people would rather sleep with me. Sounds fab. Sample size is one person. I'm hoping it's not my brother.

100% of people think I'm more famous. This is quite a coup, seeing as my friends include a large number of stand-up comics. Who are obviously a lot less famous than me, according to my friends.

100% of people think I'm more organised. I am.

But hang on a minute...

100% of people (three of the fuckers) think I'm more likely to skip class. ME? I was a total goody-goody. This is the girl who got a week's extension for her English coursework because she was in a school play. She then got flu for an entire week. Despite the flu, despite the play, she still handed in the work EARLY. Most likely to skip class indeed! (Unless they were university friends who voted, in which case, fuck yeah - wouldn't see me for dust if I had an optional lecture.)

0% of people (of a sample size of two) would rather get stuck in handcuffs with me. Good, because that's just going to be uncomfortable and embarrassing ultimately.

(This one really rankles) 0% of people think I'm more punctual! OK, the sample size was just one person, but really. I think I've only been late twice in my life. I'm guessing this "friend" is taking the piss. If I find out who it is, I'll arrange to meet up with them for a chat. And be early.

0% of people (of a whacking four people) think I'm more fashionable. This I can live with. Blame the personal shopper and move on.

One person thinks I'm better at science. We probably oughtn't let that person near the chemicals. Someone thinks I'm cuddly. I'm not sure in what way. One poor deluded soul thinks I have better taste in music. The Carpenters, The Beach Boys, Roxette and The Eagles would beg to differ. One person would rather take me shopping. I'd rather they didn't.

Is it time to get a real life yet?