Hair today... more tomorrow

OK Ploggers, this is a girls' only post. Any men entering the Plog may leave now.

(Waits. Waits some more. Peers round the corner, and sees a few men still lurking. Hang on, this should work...)

Oooh, isn't Brad Pitt dreamy? This Plog is going to be about how dreamy Brad Pitt is, and then after that I might talk about periods or other things that make men feel a bit icky.

(Checks. Men all gone.)

OK girls. Let's talk about hair. What the fuck is going on? The older I get, the more body hair I seem to sprout in new and interesting places. I'm sure I'm not alone, but I definitely remember when I was about eighteen, I used to shave my legs once a week or so and that was pretty much it. Possibly I plucked my eyebrows.

These days I have to employ a twenty-four hour care team, just to deal with - as I like to term them - "strays". Hairs that exist in places which no-one, man or woman should have hairs. What the fuck is going on? I'm not even a particularly hairy or dark-skinned person. In fact, I'm pale as a particularly pasty pancake.

My bikini line now starts somewhere mid-calf and finishes approximately at my belly-button. I say "approximately" because to be honest, it's hard to keep up. There's more every day.

I did a quick cost/income analysis and realised that with the amount I'm spending on waxing, razors and so on, I should just cut my losses and invest in a sex change operation. Stop the shaving, get a cock. Result.

From now on, you may call me Barry.