I am waiting in for a plumber. Although he is not late yet, already I can feel every muscle in my body bristling as the undeniable certainty of late-plumberness edges closer. Plumbers and I do not have a good history.
But my toilet is leaking, and apparently, Blu-tak (whilst useful in so many other situations) will not suffice long-term from a health and safety perspective. Who knew?
So I am waiting in for a plumber. Ho hum.
*Twiddles thumbs. Checks work email. Twiddles thumbs again. Thumbs begin to ache from over-twiddling.*
I could go and make myself a bacon sandwich, but it's inevitable that the moment I do, the plumber will arrive. So I will put off the bacon sandwich, getting hungrier and more resentful with every few minutes that pass. My thoughts will go, "I could have had that bacon sandwich by now. I could have had two bacon sandwiches by now. I could have got pregnant, given birth AND had a bacon sandwich by now..."
Not that I'm expecting the plumber to get me pregnant. As I said, plumbers and I do not have a good history. Not that I regularly date plumbers. I can confidently say I've never been out with a plumber. Am I rambling?
I think I better go and have a bacon sandwich.
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