Hush it

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass

And if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat

And if that billy goat won't pull,
Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull

And if that cart and bull fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town


I hate this lullaby. Just hearing it, even as an adult, strikes some sort of terror icy cold into my heart. I hated it as a child. I had a sing-along book which had a scary picture of a billy goat, but I think it's more than that.

It's a frightening tune. Hypnotic, repetitive and relentless. And it's about everything going wrong. Not just going wrong, but bigger and bigger things going wrong. A broken mirror is a bit of a shame, but by the end we've got a road traffic accident.

And what does Papa do? Throws more money at the problem. What sort of lesson is this teaching our children? That if you don't like your gift, you can get something bigger and better, regardless of the public nuisance it might cause?

Also the iteration that "you'll still be the sweetest little baby in town" - who ratifies this? I would hope there would be some sort of fixed judging criteria. Despite the fact that I don't like the importance placed on looks in today's society, I think it's important that we have some accurate scientific standards against which to measure. Also, talk about making children image conscious!

In short - when I rule the world, this lullaby will be made illegal on the grounds of pessimism, unnecessary waste of resources and projecting an unhealthy body image.