Working girl

"Hello Lorna," said the man who lives-not-really-next-door to me, but is probably the closest thing I have to a next-door neighbour. Every so often he'll say, "Is it Lorna or Laura?" I'll say, "It's Laura." And the next time he sees me, he'll cheerfully call out, "Hello Lorna!"

I was just getting home from work. "You're a busy girl, aren't you?" he said. I was a bit befuddled, as generally I leave at some point after eight and come back sometime before six. Fairly normal. Plus, I wasn't aware I was actually being watched. I started to worry that perhaps he had a double meaning and was accusing me of being a prostitute. My reply probably didn't help my case:

"Oh yes, I'm always in and out!"

I let myself into my flat, and just as I was walking through the door, I heard him say something so strange, in such an odd tone of voice, that I initially thought he was talking to someone else - perhaps a child in his flat. But no. He said, and I quote:

"You be a good girl, Lorna."

What the fuck? I'm getting behavioural tips from a man in his 70s with a cockatiel called Chloe. Every time Chloe squawks, he threatens to pull her tail. What did he mean by,"be a good girl". Does that impy he's seen me being a "bad girl"? In what way? Have I been hanging round the bike sheds smoking? (In case you're wondering, no.) Have I been hanging around the estate wearing a hoodie (not usually, unless it's raining and I tend to prefer my pink umbrella). Has he seen me propositioning men outside my flat in exchange for money?

Oh actually, that might be the one he was referring to. I am going to try and be good this evening though. And then, just for fun, I might be really bad all weekend.