We decided to fit one more attraction in before heading back to our hotel for a rest prior to dinner. We decided this attraction should be the church Santa Maria del Popolo. We had a wander down an expensive street, where TheBloke (TM) helpfully pushed me quite hard in the direction we were travelling as I stopped to look in any appealing-looking windows.
And into Santa Maria del Popolo we went. Firstly I was struck by how many skulls were decorating the place. You have to wonder just how holy a place is if they use human skulls as decoration. And whilst one or two of them looked like plaster casts of some description, a fair few of them looked pretty authentic to me. Not that I've got a lot of experience in human skull identification. I wonder if whoever's skull it was had any say in whether their noggin got used to decorate an ornate marble entrance. I wonder if I'd like my skull to do the same one day. It's an interesting way of gaining immortality. The weird thing is that I will never, ever see my own skull. That bothers me slightly. I'm not sure why.
I digress.
So, the church was impressive on the inside, and one of the big attractions appeared to be this picture here:
Clearly this was a big pull for the nuns, as a bus load of them were in the church, gathered round this chapel. It made me giggle a bit that they all had digital cameras. I don't tend to think of nuns being particularly into digital photography, or uploading their shots onto Facebook, but perhaps that's my own narrow-mindedness coming out. I imagined the nuns' Facebook status: "Sister Mary Mark is... reading psalms". What I did notice was that this chapel very clearly had a sign stating "No flash photography" - presumably so as not to fade the important work of art. The nuns were blithely ignoring this. If a nun can be blithe. They were snapping away, flashes flashing, and then giggling over the photos they'd taken with each other. Troublemakers.
I noticed the nuns were all wearing wedding rings, which confused me for a second, and then I remember that they use it as a sign to show that they're married to Jesus, or God, or the Tooth Fairy or something. Now I've never been to a nun's wedding - I'm assuming they have one when they get the ring, and I'll be honest, I'm not that fussed about attending one. I don't know any nuns, so it would probably be a bit inappropriate for me to just turn up on their big day.
I would however, be interested at the bit where the vicar says, "If anyone knows of any just law or impediment why this nun and this God cannot be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace..."
I would be tempted to pipe up on two accounts. Firstly, God is already married to all the other nuns (bigamist), plus he's knocked up a married woman and has a child from a previous relationship, whom he let die. Now, it's none of my business, love is blind, and all that, but the nuns at the very least ought to be made aware of this information before committing to a bloke who doesn't sound like he's a safe bet to be a good father. Social services should definitely be involved.
Secondly, I'm not sure God ever speaks to say, "I do" - therefore is it even legally binding?
I digress again. Really what I'd like to do is skip the wedding entirely. But I would very much like to go to a nun's hen night. I imagine the need for veils might be superfluous as they can wear their little headdress thingies. But I would love to see a group of nuns on a night out round the Vatican, pissed out of their habits, with L-plates attached. Halfway through the evening, the chief hen will have organised a sexy vicar to come over and do some Gregorian chants, whilst the other nuns crow raucously in the background.
And then take flash photographs of holy relics when you're clearly not supposed to.
Naughty, naughty nuns.
I think I need more sleep.
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