The sun streamed brightly into the courtyard in Bethnal Green where I had lunch with my friend Elinor. The cafe is on a row of four shops right near where I live - a Thai restaurant, a pub, an Italian restaurant and an organic vegetarian cafe (oh yes, it's definitely up and coming. Even more so because I think the cafe is run by lesbians. Once the gay community moves in, house prices will go through the roof. Honest. Want to buy a flat?) Until a month ago, I'd never been to any of these places. And now I've been to all of them, apart from the Italian restaurant. Sorry, that was really dull.
I'll carry on.
After lunch at the organic lesbian cafe (not its actual name, and no I haven't turned; one text message does not a lesbian make), Elinor went to get us some coffees, and I idly tuned into the conversation of the people on the table next to me. He was clearly some sort of academic, and she was a mature student. I was reminded of exactly why I hated studying English at university quite so much as he opined, "Of course, what is essential to observe is not just the nature of the text, but its perceived perception. Indeed, its received perceived perception."
Oh shut up, you big hairy wanker.
See, saying things simply sometimes just gets your point across that little bit better.
9 comments:
I think Bristol has a lot to answer for!
Let's kill him. That's a simple enough approach for me.
Also, hello.
Not the killing, no. I've vowed not to go back to all that.
Hello.
Okay, maybe not killing but people like that certainly need a slap. Although...although it's quite funny to think that they think that they're doing well with a lady when they use a line like that. You've got to give them that...
(why is it so bloody hot? You are comedic and wise - I demand to know why this is happening)
To be fair, I think she was only with him because of his supreme tutoring abilities. She looked like she was enjoying the lesbian cafe for its non-organic delights. He looked like he'd never heard of a lesbian, other than part of feminist critical theory.
I love the hot weather - perfect for me!
Perfect for you? Why? Are you some sort of cold blooded beast?
Yes, I am a tortoise in human casing. Do you have a problem with that?
Not so much a problem as a DESIRE TO SELL YOUR CRAZY HUMAN SHELL (nose?) ON EBAY. Some would call it greedy. Me, I simply say that it's...it's...a...er...way of making money. And let's be honest...isn't that why we're put on Earth?
Something like that.
Maybe I've missed the point along the way.
Am I going to hell?
Probably not hell. Quite possibly some sort of asylum.
You'll like it. Very peaceful. Lots of white.
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