- Being busy
- Shiny possessions
- Taking the piss
Last night I went to my first meditation class at the London Buddhist Centre. I walk past this place every single day, and despite the fact it's about 30 seconds from my flat, I've never been. So I thought I'd give it a go.
It was a two and a half hour session. On fucking breathing.
"OK. So breathe in and out, and then count one. Do it again and count two. All the way up to ten. Then start again. After that, we'll count one, then breathe in and out, count two, and so on. Don't worry if you're getting confused. I'll recap. Don't worry if your mind wanders. Just bring it back to the breath once you notice."
I got bored after "two". I also worked out quite quickly that I could breathe, count and make to-do lists in my head at the same time. Am effective multi-tasker.
At one point questions were invited. A girl spoke for all of us:
GIRL: I was wondering - what's the purpose of this breathing thing? I mean, what are we trying to achieve?
BUDDHIST: Oh, um, well. (Big pause.) That's a very good question. Um. I'll have to think about that.
OTHER GIRL: So am I supposed to be emptying my mind of thoughts?
BUDDHIST: Oh, um, well. (Bigger pause.) That's difficult to answer. Does anyone have any thoughts on this?
Two and a half hours of fucking breathing. I could have done that at home and watched last night's Spooks at the same time. The best bit was the tea break where we got chocolate Hobnobs. But I reckon £7 for a cup of tea and a Hobnob (even if it was a chocolate one) is expensive, even for London.
5 comments:
They *charged* you ? You sure you walked into a Buddhist thing and not Kabbalah or....wait....SCIENTOLOGY !
Theyr'e only getting you to breathe slowly so eventually you'll fall asleep and they can transport you to the Mother Ship.
They lull you with a chocolate hobknob and then it's all over....
I like Buddhists so don't be horrid about them. Mum x
Mum, I know you like Buddhists, but I wish you wouldn't hang out by the Buddhist Centre and try and pinch their bottoms as they walk past.
Promise me you'll try.
L x
F**king breathing soungs more fun than just breathing.
I think you were missing out on something there.
7 pounds is a bargain!
Now you mention it, Anonymous, I did wonder why everyone else in the room was naked.
There's a Full Moon Puja in a week or so, if you fancy making rubbish offerings to a stupid shrine and breathing deeply and either a) thinking or b) not thinking about stuff.
Pah.
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