Squirrels. We need to talk about squirrels.
They are cute, they are fluffy. Generally, I like squirrels.
But I'm a bit worried. I live in Central London - admittedly there are quite a few parks surrounding me, but the most abundant material is, by far, concrete. And yet the squirrels are gathering. Occasionally I used to see one or two ambling around the trees near where I live. I'd enjoy seeing their little bushy tails and watching them scamper around the ground. Now, every single time I return to my flat, there are at least three or four squirrels, giving me a very hard stare and refusing point blank to get out of my path.
I fear they are gathering, I fear they are plotting something. I fear the thing they are plotting is evil.
Everyone knows squirrels are supposed to go into hibernation at this time of year. Not the squirrels near me. Not only have they conquered their natural instinct but they have also mastered technology. I saw one of them yesterday with a notebook marked Evil Strategy and a bluetooth headset*.
I think the best way to manage this is to infiltrate the squirrel group, to become "one of them" and to find out what they're really up to. As I have had limited luck with the wedding plans, I'm trading the bridal dress in for a squirrel suit. Will report back.
* I didn't really, but I bet they've got them.
6 comments:
Please let me know the address of the shop that sells both wedding dresses and squirrel outfits.
Not you too! The number of friends I've had who've been jilted at the altar and have decided to join the squirrel ranks instead.
Check out www.iwantsomenuts.com for squirrel and wedding attire.
Damn! (Sorry) Nuts! Our cover has been blown! Hope they don't find out about
http://www.scarysquirrel.org/
or they may realize what is going on...
Tufty
and we're really stuffed if they find out about Betty!
http://www.scarysquirrel.org/history/bfrance/
I was walking home from the pub the other lunchtime and I saw a squirrel burying it's nuts (ooer etc) under a tree (The third one from the right, just after you leave the old swan, about 200 yards from the spar shop). So I dug it up and burried under a different tree. I've now set up liitle squirrel watching tent so I can see the look on it's face when it comes back, has a little dig, scratches it's furry head and says to itself "Where's my f*!&ing nuts gone?!" Mwhoohahahaha!
I know what squirrel you saw.
http://www.myspace.com/squirrelmilitia
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