Children, cover your eyes. Adults, be sure you want to proceed. For I am about to tell you the world's scariest Halloween story. This will disturb you for the rest of your life.
Just a month or so ago I was in Georgia, USA with Mrs Nunn. It was a pretty good holiday. The weather was warm, the shopping was great and we even had a BBQ in a typical Georgian roadside cafe called Smokey Joe's.
Except one day, Mrs Nunn discovered something at the outlet mall that would terrify me for the rest of my life. It was a Halloween shop.
"But Laura," I hear you say. "Laura, you are famous for not being scared by anything spooky. You tease your friends regularly for being frightened by horror films. The ghost train is the one ride you're not scared of at Alton Towers. Everyone knows you have absolutely no imagination."
Draw in closer, little ones. The tale I have to tell is chilling.
Mrs Nunn and I were wandering around the Halloween shop, giggling at talking pumpkins, bats that flew round overhead and clever skulls that insulted "guests" that would walk between them. It was cool.
Then we found the costume section. Hundreds and hundreds of different outfits, from Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, right through to (my personal favourite) a costume which made you look like the lady from the lost dog cartoon. (See http://www.costumesinc.com/p10962/Lost-Dog-Costume--Adult-Humorous-Costume.html)
It was a lot of fun. This is where the tale turns chilling. Look away now if you're easily scared.
It was all a lot of fun... until Mrs Nunn found the Naughty Nurse costume. We giggled over it. And then she decided to buy it. I am not joking. Her exact words were, "It'll cheer your dad up." I told her that if she did buy it, whilst I was there, I would write about it on my Plog. And her brother reads the Plog. And then she'd be embarrassed, wouldn't she?
"No," replied a stubborn Mrs Nunn. "Write what you like. For I am a naughty nurse, and I care not for your Internet musings." Or words to that effect. But she made me promise that I wouldn't write about it until Mr Nunn's birthday because I'd spoil the surprise.
Mr Nunn's birthday has come and gone.
Shudder.
3 comments:
Parents should not be allowed to do or say such things in front of their offspring. There should be a law.
Scary story aside... American's are obsessed with Halloween!!! It's another "Holiday" for them, like Thanksgiving or Christmas! Those Halloween stores you mentioned open in Aug/Sept, then promptly close Nov. 1st with a big sale.
If you plan to be home that evening, expect to be interupted from your favorite TV shows every 5 minutes to give kids treats as they stop by every door in the neighborhood. Heaven help you if you didn't buy decent candy!
I tell my friends here that we rarely do the trick-or-treat thing in England - they gasp and take pity on me for this important experience I missed as a child!
Of course, now, my parents are the ones dressing up, handing out candy, and scaring the poor little kids that live on their street :)
Think yourself lucky.
If it were my mum that had bought it, judging from her usual clothes buying habits, she would have made me try it on and then wear it to work.
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